the_last_podcast_on_the_leftfandomcom-20200215-history
Episode 16: Creepypasta/Transcript
00:00 ::there's no place to escape to this is 00:03 ::the last podcast on the left that's one of 00:09 ::the cannibalism started welcome to the 00:16 ::program ladies and gentlemen this is the 00:17 ::last podcast on the left that was a 00:20 ::beautiful beautiful little tune sung by 00:23 ::the two most attractive gentlemen I've 00:24 ::ever seen I only say that because today 00:26 ::we're recording in the dark and later on 00:29 ::but in the dark 00:30 ::ah absolutely this is amazing for Marcus 00:33 ::Parks I've been Kissel how are you mr. 00:35 ::scientist Oh 00:38 ::cowabunga oh yeah yeah it's my what did 00:42 ::I do hold McNeeley fucking stupid 00:44 ::catchphrase I don't know man I hate that 00:46 ::that I did that I know it sucks and it's 00:48 ::like in my fucking head now yeah it's 00:50 ::forever gonna live on the Internet yeah 00:51 ::like Holden will listen to this and he's 00:53 ::probably just gonna get a huge erection 00:55 ::if you don't know Holden gives him one 00:57 ::cappy's me mookie boo so he talks to 01:01 ::himself speaking of the Internet today 01:03 ::we are focusing on the horror world that 01:06 ::exists online and you know if the 01:08 ::Internet has given us nothing other than 01:10 ::pornography it has given us horror yes 01:12 ::and uh there are stories that live 01:14 ::online now that were that were lost on 01:16 ::many many generations of children and 01:19 ::now we get to read them again and 01:20 ::they're fresh in the renewed and they're 01:22 ::instilling terror and fear into an 01:24 ::entirely new group of youths so the best 01:26 ::part is that maybe not the best part 01:29 ::probably technically the worst part but 01:30 ::there's a lot of fake horror you know 01:33 ::there's a lot of core stuff that's just 01:34 ::like there to scare you and it's fun 01:35 ::yeah but the thing about the internet 01:36 ::too is because it's an anonymous way of 01:39 ::communicating if you want to be 01:40 ::especially on 4chan the fucking dark 01:43 ::seedy underbelly of the internet that if 01:46 ::you go on random on 4chan like you'll 01:49 ::see certain stuff where it's you know 01:50 ::you'll see you know porn and then yeah 01:52 ::can you explain to the audience it the 01:54 ::number folks I was trying to find it I 01:56 ::literally number 4chan CH a n fits for 01:59 ::chant 4chan org and then you get to the 02:02 ::random you have to scroll down and click 02:04 ::on random and it's called B being by the 02:06 ::way it's a lot like it's nowhere near as 02:08 ::bad as it used to be no I know that I 02:10 ::remember it all was it like 02:12 ::those rotten dot-coms it's worse than 02:14 ::that the worst is that if in the in the 02:16 ::it's just like the last place where you 02:19 ::know you you go in there and you'll see 02:21 ::you know a girl squirting which is fine 02:24 ::you know you'll see porn that's good and 02:26 ::then you'll see a guy's fucking hand in 02:28 ::a shredder and then you'll see somebody 02:30 ::with like you'll see a decapitated head 02:32 ::boy like words like squirting blood 02:33 ::though so it's still pretty hot it's 02:35 ::pretty hot no but like you'll see you 02:37 ::know they have like I was scrolling 02:39 ::through there the other day and it's 02:40 ::just lots of like execution videos like 02:42 ::they like we're all the writing that 02:44 ::leaks from like Al Jazeera of like 02:45 ::people being held at murder on tape 02:47 ::perhaps this is one of the the websites 02:49 ::that broke the the Pearl Daniel Pearl 02:52 ::when he was beheaded yeah that is a that 02:54 ::it's definitely existed on 4chan so 02:57 ::there ya there is a very true creepy 03:00 ::world that still exists of course right 03:02 ::the internet gives it a voice like that 03:04 ::be on 4chan especially there's just 03:07 ::there's a place there where you can get 03:11 ::it it happens those dark things that 03:14 ::happen and it will say you will record 03:15 ::you want to tread lightly with the real 03:17 ::stuff I never liked the faces of death I 03:19 ::can sit there every single saw I think 03:21 ::the comedies of the year every time you 03:23 ::know I think they're hilarious but when 03:24 ::it comes to the real torture stuff I saw 03:25 ::one beheading and I'll never watch one 03:27 ::again and it sticks with you forever 03:29 ::yeah it's like the Frog I shoot I saw a 03:31 ::guy shoot himself in the face yeah it's 03:33 ::like that video of like the congressman 03:35 ::shooting himself in the page oh the 03:36 ::public when you did it in public yet 03:38 ::when he did it call the cat and also the 03:40 ::person who sent it to me did not tell me 03:41 ::what was gonna happen she was just she 03:43 ::was just like here look at that look at 03:44 ::this and it was boom and I broke up with 03:46 ::her very soon I have a very similar 03:48 ::situation Marcus you sent me a video 03:50 ::called the prune Brothers yeah you had a 03:52 ::chance to google the prune brothers I'll 03:53 ::tell you they they've been helping out 03:55 ::elderly ladies uh who since 2011 w-9 03:59 ::yeah that nine that was a good year for 04:01 ::making people shit so yeah the 04:04 ::Internet's full of real-life horrific 04:05 ::things and uh and it's a it's a 04:08 ::beautiful and there's also some there's 04:10 ::also some fantastic stories that aren't 04:11 ::necessarily disgusting and that's what 04:13 ::we're gonna focus on today which is a 04:15 ::phenomenon known as creepypasta it's old 04:17 ::hat to some new hats for know to have 04:20 ::hats yeah that's creepypasta it's like 04:23 ::it's like when you went over to your 04:24 ::aunt's house and you're like 04:25 ::for dinner and she's like posture hey 04:27 ::maybe I can go today again coming out of 04:30 ::Regina to work exactly um that why is 04:33 ::there why is there pasta in this pubic 04:35 ::hair there's no reason for it just give 04:37 ::me the pubic hair please please you know 04:39 ::how I like to fork it up um but there we 04:42 ::were talking about this too so a lot of 04:43 ::this stuff comes from like it'll be 04:44 ::scary stories that you've heard before 04:46 ::in different form and a lot about the 04:49 ::best part about being being on the 04:50 ::Internet is that when you're home by 04:54 ::yourself and you're stoned or you're 04:56 ::drunk and you're sitting there and you 04:59 ::can just you just creep yourself the 05:01 ::fuck out because there's just so much 05:03 ::more of the way they design it now to 05:05 ::which is so much more like oh my friend 05:08 ::saw this and so it's like this weird 05:10 ::sort of hearsay of course and then you 05:12 ::kind of have the added sort of vagueness 05:14 ::of the Internet where proof is hazy 05:16 ::anyway and it's very tough to tell if 05:18 ::you're going to get somebody getting 05:19 ::shot in the face if you're going to get 05:21 ::Daniel Pearl being beheaded or if you're 05:22 ::gonna get the most adorable kitten 05:23 ::playing with yarn yeah you know so which 05:25 ::is like a okay my bison brothers yeah 05:28 ::you actually just described be 05:29 ::completely that is what that's exactly 05:31 ::what it'll be like kitten kitten vagina 05:34 ::upper blood Pokemon yeah but then it's 05:38 ::before channel so as a board of the 05:41 ::paranormal board which is X which is 05:44 ::looking great just say paranormal I know 05:46 ::it is hidden that's what they just say 05:48 ::just that's okay yeah but the paranormal 05:52 ::board is so fucking interesting because 05:54 ::you just have a lot of you know newfags 05:57 ::if you want to say in terms of just like 05:59 ::people just like looking for attention 06:00 ::and then you'll just have some genuine 06:03 ::really fucked up stuff on there and and 06:06 ::it's a lot of and because they're all 06:08 ::hackers too and a lot of them are just 06:10 ::bored 14 year-olds that go get into 06:13 ::depth with some crazy shit you know like 06:16 ::someone will put up a picture of stuff 06:18 ::like you'll see a lot of like fun or 06:20 ::pictures and like bit like ghost 06:22 ::pictures and so right UFO footage and 06:25 ::all that stuff's a lot of fun and then 06:26 ::you'll see just normal dumb shit I know 06:29 ::I'm of the mind the same thing with like 06:30 ::horror films it's like like the Texas 06:33 ::Chainsaw Massacre The Exorcist people 06:36 ::would be like it's real it's real like 06:37 ::all this stuff and like I don't even 06:38 ::care if it could be 06:40 ::all lies as long as you spin a good yarn 06:41 ::and you really get me scared that's all 06:44 ::that matters that's only one all I want 06:45 ::is to be scared and I think ghosts are 06:47 ::established enough in society and 06:49 ::throughout the history of people that 06:51 ::you know if you don't believe in ghosts 06:53 ::you ain't reading the right books my 06:54 ::friend yeah yeah they get afraid of 06:57 ::ghosts because what if the fucking ghost 06:59 ::is real that's real is gonna help you 07:01 ::well speak it speaking of books I was 07:03 ::reading a lot of this creepy pasta that 07:04 ::you worse enemy and a lot of these where 07:07 ::uh where I first heard like a lot of 07:09 ::these urban legends and like pass down 07:11 ::stories and all that was a book called a 07:13 ::book series called scary stories to tell 07:15 ::in the dark Jeremy the pictures for 07:17 ::pictures where the book your mother read 07:19 ::to you while you were in the womb though 07:22 ::the pictures uh were and still are 07:25 ::absolutely terrified I'm the most 07:27 ::devastatingly scary stuff I used to say 07:29 ::I'd be so late at night and read it and 07:31 ::scare the shit out of myself and I I had 07:33 ::the audio book only imagine like the guy 07:37 ::that was read there was this book called 07:38 ::a martyr this story called Martin it was 07:41 ::about these three this person hanging 07:42 ::out at this house by themselves oh yeah 07:45 ::I primatte and there was like these 07:47 ::three cats that you know this these cats 07:49 ::keep coming and someone just kept saying 07:51 ::just wait til Martin calm and they kept 07:55 ::coming and then eventually Martin is a 07:57 ::gigantic cat and like kills or something 07:59 ::I can nothing it's all I will be as 08:01 ::scary as the bill to yet nothing will be 08:04 ::as scary some weird ass dude saying wait 08:06 ::tell Martin comms just waiting for 08:09 ::Sheneneh yeah you know you got real 08:14 ::crazy I'll get it up are times ever yeah 08:17 ::that's great I am you know I forget I 08:19 ::was gonna say we're eccentric but I like 08:22 ::now to in modern times though is that it 08:26 ::I love that blending of what is real and 08:29 ::what's actually scary because yeah now 08:31 ::there's so much there's so much 08:33 ::weirdness happen because of a 24/7 08:35 ::fucking news cycle and the horrible 08:36 ::things that happen in the world are 08:38 ::constantly broadcast by our news 08:40 ::companies that are desperate for ratings 08:42 ::and attention which is that 30 30 new 30 08:45 ::dead Marines were today and it's always 08:47 ::funny when the news media comes down 08:49 ::we're like we got terrible news breaking 08:50 ::news and you can just see in their 08:52 ::brains ratings or go 08:53 ::now yeah like we love it we absolutely 08:55 ::love salary goes in Afghanistan or the 08:57 ::picture that give the story of this 08:59 ::Hussey guy this Orthodox Jewish guy 09:02 ::picked up a character yeah off the 09:04 ::street and just cut him up in little 09:06 ::pieces just cuz just cuz he was panicked 09:09 ::and then like you know like so there's 09:11 ::all these real-life horror stories that 09:12 ::are already happening that are way out 09:14 ::in the open and that's why for news 09:16 ::I mean ghosts are just like a little hug 09:19 ::from the gods compared to like what 09:21 ::human beings have done to other human 09:22 ::beings I've never once ever heard of a 09:24 ::ghost taking a small Jewish boy chopping 09:26 ::him up and put him in his freezer 09:27 ::because everybody knows ghosts enjoy 09:29 ::warm food I just I love it too and then 09:33 ::but up well so like true life stories 09:35 ::when you hear that just sound like scary 09:37 ::stories like when John Wayne Gacy the 09:40 ::stories of John Wayne Gacy like doing 09:42 ::his magic handcuffs trick magic 09:45 ::handcuffs tricks so fuckin nuts really I 09:48 ::met there like as always like no it's 09:50 ::not magic whatsoever and then he just 09:52 ::fucking hits you the lead pipe and then 09:54 ::those real videos to of real death also 09:56 ::just shows how undramatic death is how 09:59 ::quick and immediate and that you're 10:01 ::alive and bam you're fuckin dead it's 10:03 ::like there's no build-up there's no 10:05 ::suspense you're just fuckin debt which 10:07 ::is also very interesting absolutely John 10:09 ::Wayne Gacy if you get a chance I will 10:11 ::plughole Domini Lee's uh Twitter is that 10:13 ::murderous Twitter again the murder fest 10:15 ::they're doing a fantastic job of just 10:17 ::puttin serial killer quotes up there 10:19 ::which in my opinion that's the that was 10:20 ::the entire reason Twitter was invented 10:22 ::uh and John Wayne Gacy is a great one 10:25 ::that just says the only thing I'm guilty 10:26 ::of is running a unlicensed mortuary 10:28 ::because how twenty eight kids in his 10:30 ::crawlspace that's the only thing that he 10:33 ::could be like I you can get me on that I 10:35 ::can see where I made a mistake there I 10:36 ::should've gone to the proper people I 10:38 ::mean that's the thing so I guess right 10:41 ::now we're gonna want you to go okay this 10:43 ::is serious 10:44 ::we won't yet pause the podcast the 10:46 ::podcast smoke the biggest blunt you can 10:48 ::get the size of a burrito and if you 10:50 ::listen to top at that's a callback 10:51 ::ladies and gentlemen yeah I the size of 10:54 ::a large burrito and just get or 10:57 ::mushrooms 10:58 ::eat a mushroom here I mean like smoke 11:01 ::like drink something shut off all the 11:03 ::lights like this is good if you're by 11:04 ::yourself this isn't a train at 11:06 ::so this is a sitting in your house 11:08 ::episode you know I mean like got a 11:11 ::commute episode yeah so we're gonna 11:13 ::we're gonna read some stories to you 11:15 ::that's right we want to get real with it 11:17 ::and they're just you know they're fun 11:19 ::and I think they are I think some of 11:21 ::them are very true I think some of them 11:23 ::are absolutely real because you just 11:25 ::don't you just don't know all right so 11:26 ::you go get blazed we're gonna sit here 11:28 ::and get blazed and we'll talk to you in 11:29 ::a second okay all right so let's start 11:38 ::this um all right so I'm gonna start 11:41 ::with a with a short true story called 11:43 ::camping all right so here we go a few 11:47 ::months ago a friend of mine who is an 11:48 ::up-and-coming nature photographer 11:50 ::decided to spend a day and night alone 11:51 ::in the woods outside of our town she 11:53 ::wanted to get pictures of the woods and 11:55 ::Wildlife as naturally as she could for 11:57 ::her portfolio she wasn't afraid of being 11:59 ::alone as she had camped by herself many 12:01 ::times before she set up a tent in the 12:03 ::middle of a small clearing and spent the 12:05 ::day taking pictures she filled up four 12:07 ::rolls of film on that trip but when she 12:09 ::went and got them developed she saw four 12:10 ::pictures that unsettled her these four 12:12 ::pictures were taken from inside the tent 12:14 ::of her asleep in the middle of the night 12:17 ::that is awesome 12:20 ::all right this is it this is a story 12:22 ::called the statue a few years ago a 12:28 ::mother and a father decided they needed 12:30 ::a break so they wanted to head out for a 12:33 ::night on the town they called their most 12:36 ::trusted babysitter when the babysitter 12:38 ::arrived the two children were already 12:41 ::fast asleep in bed so the babysitter 12:42 ::just got to sit around and make sure 12:45 ::everything was okay with the children 12:47 ::later than night the baby sort of got 12:50 ::bored and went to watch TV but she 12:53 ::couldn't watch it downstairs because 12:54 ::they didn't have cable downstairs the 12:56 ::parents in want children watched too 12:57 ::much Harbinger so she called them and 13:01 ::asked them if she could watch cable in 13:02 ::the parents room of course 13:04 ::parent said it was okay but the 13:06 ::babysitter had one final request she 13:09 ::asked if she could cover up the angel 13:12 ::statue outside the bedroom window with a 13:14 ::blanket or cloth the very least close 13:17 ::the blinds because it made her nervous 13:20 ::the phone line went silent for a moment 13:23 ::and the father was talking the 13:25 ::babysitter at the time said take the 13:27 ::children and get out of the house we 13:30 ::will call the police we do not have an 13:33 ::angel statue 13:35 ::the police found all three of the house 13:37 ::occupants dead within 10 minutes of the 13:39 ::call no statue was found that is awesome 13:43 ::great all right this is a story called 13:45 ::home alone your home alone and you hear 13:49 ::on the news about the profile of a 13:50 ::murderer who is on the loose you look 13:53 ::out the sliding glass doors to your 13:54 ::backyard 13:55 ::and you notice a man standing out in the 13:57 ::snow he fits the profile of the murderer 13:59 ::exactly and he's smiling at you you go 14:02 ::picking up the phone to your right and 14:04 ::dialing 9-1-1 you look back out the 14:07 ::glass as you press the phone to your ear 14:08 ::and notice he's much closer to you now 14:10 ::you drop the phone in shock there are no 14:13 ::footprints in the snow 14:14 ::it's his reflection here can I read one 14:18 ::more yeah sure one to the right super 14:20 ::quick the tape during summer of 1983 in 14:27 ::a quiet town near Minneapolis Minnesota 14:29 ::the charred body of a woman was found 14:31 ::inside the kitchen stove of a small 14:33 ::farmhouse a video camera was also found 14:37 ::in the kitchen standing on a tripod 14:38 ::pointing at the oven no tape was found 14:42 ::in the camera at the time I remember 14:45 ::reading about the story actually 14:47 ::although the scene was originally 14:49 ::labeled as a homicide by police an 14:51 ::unmarked VHS tape was later discovered 14:54 ::at the bottom of the farms well which 14:56 ::apparently died up earlier that year 14:59 ::despite its warm condition and the fact 15:02 ::that it contained no audio police were 15:05 ::still able to view the contents of the 15:07 ::tape it depicted a woman recording 15:10 ::herself in front of a video camera 15:11 ::seemingly using the same camera the 15:14 ::police found in the kitchen after 15:16 ::positioning camera to include both her 15:18 ::and her kitchen stove in the image the 15:21 ::tape then showed her turning on the oven 15:23 ::opening the door crawling inside and 15:27 ::then closing the door behind her 15:31 ::eight minutes into the video the oven 15:33 ::could be seen shaking violently after 15:36 ::which point thick black smoke could be 15:38 ::seen emanating from it for the remaining 15:41 45 minutes of the video until the 15:43 ::batteries in the camera died it remained 15:45 ::in its stationary position to avoid 15:48 ::disturbing the local community police 15:50 ::never released any information about the 15:51 ::tape or even the fact that it was found 15:54 ::police were also not able to determine 15:57 ::who put the tape and the well worth a 15:59 ::height and stature of the woman in the 16:00 ::video didn't come close to matching the 16:03 ::body they found in the oven whoa that 16:07 ::one's great that's when I read another 16:09 ::story another short one I just got a 16:11 ::quick one that's kind of fun but because 16:14 ::of that alien this ship in the Baltic 16:16 ::Sea think this is kind of this guy Leon 16:19 ::zalga 'he's assassinated assassinate Cho 16:22 ::gosh 16:23 ::shell gosh yeah Leon shell gosh he's the 16:26 ::Sasson of William McKinley the 25th 16:28 ::President United States he was 16:29 ::electrocuted for his crime on October 16:31 29th 1901 at Auburn prison in Auburn New 16:34 ::York among the personal effects found in 16:36 ::his cell was a u.s. quarter stamped with 16:38 ::the date 20 to 18 the face and profile 16:41 ::on said quarter was not George 16:42 ::Washington but rather a face that has 16:44 ::not yet been identified so he is like 16:47 ::from the future man it's William 16:49 ::McKinley do you want to another when 16:51 ::you're going to go into this big one oh 16:53 ::I got a I got one more I guess is and I 16:56 ::love it because it's a it's a bit of an 16:58 ::interest to bind a young man and his new 17:01 ::bride we're honeymooning in Paris when 17:03 ::she sat him down deadly serious and 17:05 ::asked him if he would ever leave her 17:06 ::where she not truly beautiful he laughed 17:09 ::and complimented her figuring she was 17:10 ::just simply being dramatic and wanted to 17:12 ::be told how pretty she was 17:14 ::she then grabbed a cloth and rubbed at 17:16 ::her face wiping off the heavy foundation 17:17 ::she wore and revealing a grotesque 17:19 ::purple birthmark covering nearly her 17:21 ::whole face of course he would still love 17:23 ::her he was a good man but before he 17:25 ::could stop himself he let out a gasp his 17:27 ::wife burst into tears and fled and 17:29 ::hadn't returned by the time the 17:31 ::honeymoon was supposed to end 17:32 ::she had no passport and no money so 17:34 ::fearing the worst the man went to the 17:36 ::police the police thought it was most 17:38 ::likely the girl simply had second 17:39 ::thoughts about the marriage yet due to 17:41 ::the fact she had no official documents 17:42 ::and spoke no French they launched a hunt 17:45 ::nothing ever turned up as weeks turned 17:47 ::into months the man finally gave up on 17:49 ::finding his beautiful wife but his life 17:50 ::Eleanor shambles he was so filled with 17:53 ::grief unable to hold a job or go on with 17:55 ::his life he took to wandering the world 17:57 ::looking for anything that might ease his 17:58 ::pain years later in Borneo he came upon 18:01 ::a freak show in an old shabby building 18:03 ::he went in on a whim and the last filthy 18:06 ::cage he saw a twisted scarred and 18:08 ::mutilated woman rocking back and forth 18:09 ::and groaning strange animal-like noises 18:11 ::he screamed as he recognized the 18:14 ::birthmark on his wife's face nice I love 18:17 ::that one okay how many good ones in here 18:19 ::I kind of like this bad dream one you 18:21 ::want to read one more and then we'll get 18:22 ::into Barbie over time I we we should 18:26 ::probably go get enough skin to pool this 18:28 ::so now this is the thing with this is 18:30 ::Barbie Davey I now this is based upon 18:34 ::real videos that were found we're going 18:38 ::to say we're going to be posting these 18:40 ::videos and as we read this story to you 18:43 ::you're going to want to watch Barbie Evi 18:46 ::part 1 part 2 in part 4 because of the 18:49 ::only ones that exist so I would keep 18:51 ::those running makes sense yeah we'll 18:54 ::have at the very least we'll have links 18:55 ::on a cave comedy radio.com yeah yeah so 18:58 ::do you want me to start yeah give it a 19:00 ::go so this thing happened to me a few 19:04 ::months ago I just need to share with 19:07 ::somebody it'll start it at my friend's 19:09 ::party he's an artist he rented out a 19:12 ::loft in the industrial part of town if 19:14 ::you can picture what a place like 19:15 ::Detroit look like in the 1920s this is 19:18 ::what this area looks like a bunch of old 19:20 ::turn-of-the-century factories crammed 19:22 ::into ten blocks most of them are 19:24 ::abandoned so I partied a little too hard 19:26 ::that night and I decided to crash on a 19:29 ::couch the loft we woke up at around 4:00 19:31 ::a.m. the Sun wasn't out yet but you 19:33 ::could still like make things out in the 19:34 ::dim blue light of the morning I went to 19:37 ::the bathroom 19:37 ::carefully tiptoeing around the people 19:39 ::that were passed out on the floor 19:41 ::as I was taking a piss I tiptoed a look 19:44 ::at the bathroom window and I saw the 19:45 ::panorama of deserted urban decay I 19:49 ::remembered how much I liked places like 19:51 ::this it was so dark and devoid of life 19:53 ::and strangely serene so we went back to 19:56 ::the couch and tried to fall asleep after 19:58 45 minutes of 19:59 ::staring at the ceiling I decided I 20:00 ::didn't want to be there any longer so I 20:02 ::swallowed my pride incited to wake my 20:04 ::girlfriend up to beg for a ride since 20:06 ::walking around the vacant streets at 20:08 ::this time was not an option being an 20:10 ::awesome girlfriend she was totally cool 20:11 ::with it 20:12 ::and told me she would and told me she 20:14 ::would be there in about a half hour and 20:16 ::that she would give me a call when she 20:17 ::was outside my phone dies 10 minutes 20:19 ::later so I decide I would sit by the 20:21 ::window and wit watch her car i sat there 20:24 ::for a while and my eyes started getting 20:26 ::heavy and I began to doze off a crashing 20:28 ::noise outside woke me up it wasn't loud 20:30 ::but just enough to snap me into reality 20:32 ::I looked out the window and scanned the 20:34 ::area but didn't see anything across the 20:37 ::street from the loft near a mountain of 20:38 ::garbage bags and one of these enormous 20:40 ::dumpsters I see a computer and a monitor 20:42 ::smashed against the floor that hadn't 20:45 ::been there before when my girlfriend 20:47 ::arrived I went downstairs and greeted 20:49 ::her just as I'm about to get in the car 20:51 ::I remembered a friend of mine who had 20:52 ::blown out his power supply so I decided 20:54 ::to walk over to the dumpster and see 20:56 ::what I could salvage the monitor was 20:58 ::worthless but the tower seemed it has 20:59 ::suffered almost no damage so I put it in 21:01 ::the trunk and we drove off about a week 21:04 ::had passed and I completely forgotten 21:05 ::about the tower until my girlfriend 21:07 ::calls to let me know that it was still 21:08 ::in the trunk and that she wanted it out 21:10 ::that night I brought it home before I 21:12 ::took it apart I decided to hook up but 21:14 ::to hook it up to my monitor to see if it 21:17 ::still ran to my surprise it did it ran 21:19 ::windows XP and it looked like it had 21:21 ::been wiped clean I guess out of morbid 21:23 ::curiosity I decided to do searches for 21:26 ::words like tits and pussy in hopes of 21:28 ::finding some secret stash full of weird 21:30 ::deviant porn the previous owner had 21:32 ::forgotten about search came up nothing 21:34 ::starts a picture files nothing then I 21:37 ::searched for movies and one file came up 21:39 ::it was an avi inside a folder titled 21:42 ::Barbie hidden in the windows system32 21:44 ::directory so I played it now this is 21:48 ::where it gets disturbing the movie was 21:51 ::been an hour long what seemed like raw 21:53 ::exported footage the footage was full of 21:57 ::this woman sitting in a chair and 21:58 ::talking against the white backdrop I 22:00 ::skipped through most of the movie and 22:02 ::was all the same continuous shot and 22:04 ::then I decided to sit through the 22:05 ::footage to find out what she was talking 22:07 ::about 15 seconds into the footage the 22:10 ::audio goes completely bad her voices 22:11 ::drowned in harsh 22:13 ::static background noise I couldn't make 22:15 ::out a thing 22:16 ::so I import the footage into Final Cut 22:18 ::and I try to mess with levels to isolate 22:21 ::her voice and helps a little but I still 22:23 ::couldn't hear what she was saying 22:25 ::who intrigued now and I'm going to 22:27 ::really pay attention to her face and 22:28 ::body language seems that she's being 22:30 ::asked some kind of questions because she 22:32 ::stops at time to listen and then 22:34 ::continues talking about 15 minutes into 22:36 ::the footage her face begins to redden 22:38 ::and contort as if the questions are 22:40 ::bothering her she continues to answer 22:42 ::them anyway 22:42 ::shortly after shortly after she begins 22:44 ::to cry she sobs hysterically for the 22:47 ::duration of the film one of the few 22:49 ::words I could lip-read was skin she 22:51 ::repeats this word many times throughout 22:53 ::the footage and at one point she even 22:55 ::pulls that the skin up from her arm and 22:57 ::mouths the word she seems to be unhappy 23:00 ::with her skin there is much more I have 23:02 ::to get off my chest but it but is 23:04 ::getting late and I can't go on I will 23:06 ::show the rest tomorrow 23:07 ::God saved my soul it kept on building 23:10 ::and building in about 40 minutes in she 23:12 ::was crying so hard that she could barely 23:14 ::look at the camera she stops to take she 23:16 ::stops talking at this point and the rest 23:18 ::of the footage is just her crying with 23:20 ::her head down oddly enough she doesn't 23:22 ::get up her move the screen just fades to 23:24 ::black I was fucking dumbfounded I played 23:28 ::the whole thing through many times that 23:30 ::night trying to find inflections and 23:32 ::nuances and her movement that would 23:33 ::reveal anything else about what was 23:35 ::going on 23:35 ::I felt so dissatisfied I wanted to know 23:38 ::more that's when I noticed there was 23:40 ::about 10 more minutes left on the 23:41 ::timeline after the screen went black and 23:43 ::about 2 minutes in there was more 23:45 ::footage the footage was extremely shaky 23:47 ::almost unwatchable and depicted a pair 23:50 ::of legs walking along train tracks my 23:52 ::guess is that the camera was 23:53 ::accidentally left on as it was being 23:55 ::carried somewhere the person in this 23:57 ::footage walks along the train tracks for 23:59 ::about 6 minutes and then turns into the 24:01 ::forest and walks over what looked like 24:03 ::foliage flattened by a piece of flat 24:05 ::plywood the person continues on this 24:07 ::makeshift plywood road until the movie 24:09 ::clip ends now my heart started beating 24:11 ::with excitement because they were train 24:13 ::tracks a few miles away that looked very 24:15 ::similar to the one in the video I had to 24:18 ::check this out I called up my friend 24:19 ::Ezra he's 6 foot 4 250 pounds mostly 24:22 ::muscle and convince him to go on a 24:23 ::little adventure with me 24:25 ::pushover myself but I thought if I was 24:27 ::to go wandering in the woods looking for 24:28 ::god-knows-what extra muscle couldn't 24:30 ::hurt this whole idea of investigating 24:31 ::was a video at me so excited I couldn't 24:33 ::sleep 24:34 ::this next morning on a sunny Saturday 24:37 ::I took my flashlight my camera my 24:39 ::seven-inch K bar with a matte black 24:41 ::finish serrated edge showing to pick up 24:43 ::Ezra when I got to his house he wasn't 24:46 ::even awake when I woke him up he was 24:47 ::pretty much told me to fuck off I was 24:49 ::already packed 24:50 ::I had mentally prepared myself to do 24:51 ::this so I decided to go through with it 24:53 ::without him 24:54 ::I parked my car at the train station 24:55 ::took my stuff and hopped under the 24:57 ::tracks after walking for about two hours 24:59 ::I saw a broken piece of plywood him and 25:01 ::needs almost buckled with excitement 25:03 ::I searched the nearby foliage and there 25:05 ::was a little plywood trail leading into 25:07 ::the forest I walked slowly around along 25:09 ::the trail paying close attention to 25:11 ::everything I would stop occasionally 25:13 ::kneel down and listen for for anything 25:15 ::or anyone but it was so quiet this was 25:18 ::this was one of the most nerve-wracking 25:20 ::things I've ever done I didn't know what 25:22 ::to expect at the end of this trail the 25:24 ::dense tree line gave way into a little 25:26 ::island of grassy field and when I saw it 25:27 ::how it's being consumed by the forest 25:30 ::and then I saw how it's been consumed by 25:32 ::the forest from the looks of it no one 25:35 ::had lived there for twenty maybe thirty 25:36 ::years I got my camera and snapped a few 25:39 ::pics a few yards away from the house was 25:41 ::a toolshed 25:42 ::made of rusty sheet metal I just sat 25:44 ::there among the trees for a while 25:46 ::absorbing everything I didn't want to go 25:49 ::into the open field I had this bad 25:51 ::feeling something would see me it took 25:53 ::me a while to muster the courage to go 25:54 ::up to the house the door was partly 25:56 ::opened I pushed it in with the 25:58 ::flashlight and was relieved the inside 26:00 ::was actually very well lit I put my 26:02 ::flashlight away got my camera and took a 26:04 ::few more pictures there was no furniture 26:06 ::the floor was riddled with bricks and 26:09 ::wood and rubble some of the walls had 26:11 ::huge holes in them when I went in 26:13 ::further to explore I saw some things 26:15 ::that I didn't much mind to in the moment 26:17 ::but now that I think about him in 26:19 ::hindsight greatly disturbed me the first 26:22 ::thing that seemed a little odd was at 26:24 ::one of the doors in the first room that 26:26 ::I presume led to the basement seemed a 26:27 ::little too new to be in this house and 26:30 ::that it was also the only door in the 26:31 ::house that was locked also I made my way 26:35 ::up to the second floor I saw some chairs 26:37 ::and fold up table that also seemed to 26:39 ::little too new to be there but what 26:41 ::disturbed me the most for some reason 26:43 ::was the bathroom the dust on the mirror 26:46 ::had been wiped away in the bathtub 26:48 ::that's a clear plastic tarp that still 26:52 ::had water droplets on it from what I 26:53 ::presume it was washed clean that's when 26:58 ::I heard something moan really loud and 27:01 ::that's when I jumped the fuck out of the 27:02 ::second-story window on ran back to the 27:04 ::tracks halfway there I realized that 27:07 ::moaning was likely a water pipe 27:09 ::expanding or contracting the little 27:11 ::moment of relief gave into the horror 27:12 ::which I felt when I wondered why the 27:14 ::water would be running on an abandoned 27:17 ::house in the middle of the fucking woods 27:19 ::it's been a little more than two months 27:21 ::since that happened and I haven't gone 27:22 ::back there nor do I plan to Barbie 27:27 ::Barbie a bi man we used to have a house 27:31 ::like that when I was growing up 27:32 ::oh yeah murders out here yeah it was 27:34 ::just the middle of woods with nothing at 27:35 ::it um granted I don't think a woman was 27:38 ::murdered in the bathtub 27:40 ::yeah we had a house that was a like a 27:42 ::haunted house like there was all kinds 27:44 ::of crazy stories about it and a friend 27:46 ::of mine found a cassette tape in which 27:48 ::an old man was just reciting mary had a 27:51 ::little lamb over and over again and we 27:53 ::get progressively angry angrier and then 27:56 ::calm down and angry and calm down so 27:58 ::what are you tell so what do you think 28:00 ::this guy filmed this chick and then took 28:03 ::her into the woods and murdered her and 28:04 ::cut off her skin and wore it who knows 28:07 ::or it's like just the beginning of any 28:09 ::sort of a snuff film oh yeah that's a 28:14 ::good point 28:15 ::you know can then it was started off as 28:17 ::an interview they tricked her that it 28:18 ::was an interview and then they just 28:20 ::murdered her oh my god yeah all she was 28:22 ::talking to was her skin I talk about 28:24 ::that too all the time I was always I was 28:26 ::thought like you know two girls one cups 28:28 ::fake but I was like if you if this was 28:32 ::real though those girls are dead this 28:36 ::was actually happening then they were 28:38 ::murdered at some point yeah uh and I'm I 28:42 ::am dead certain that there there is some 28:45 ::pretty twisted stuff that happens that 28:47 ::is on the internet that is real I'm as 28:50 ::well thing yeah there's got to be tons 28:52 ::of it 28:53 ::I'll tell you one thing what's on the 28:55 ::internet it's twisted last podcast on 28:57 ::the left that's yeah I'm sure yeah and 28:59 ::if they're good and scared of us ruined 29:00 ::your night 29:01 Laughter 29:04 ::alright everybody well I think that's 29:06 ::gonna wrap up this episode of fun of 29:08 ::storytelling today yeah time I want to 29:11 ::do this more often let's get into little 29:12 ::groups and just hang out that's the 29:14 ::stateís to each other and tweet cave 29:16 ::comedy radio let us know if you have any 29:18 ::any links to some horrific stories or if 29:21 ::you have a story of your own please 29:22 ::email cave comedy radio at gmail right 29:24 ::yeah hit comedy radio Gmail if you want 29:27 ::to email your your scary spooky stories 29:29 ::please do that please love to read them 29:31 ::on air yeah cuz we'd love to get creeped 29:33 ::out ourselves 29:34 ::absolutely that's what it's all about 29:35 ::alright guys thanks so much for 29:36 ::listening we'll talk to you soon 29:38 ::jiggy jiggy jiggy jiggy translations 29:42 ::Magoo solutions I've been doing the 29:44 ::subway ads all day yeah my Subway's new 29:46 ::spicy chicken sandwich 29:47 ::makes it footlong megusta lations Magoo 29:50 ::still Asians megusta lations 29:52 ::Campbell you guys are still on that one 29:53 ::I'm not getting off that you knew once 29:56 ::in yeah since I'm not scared anymore 29:58 ::yeah that's the thing 29:59 ::trés subway eat fresh eat fresh there 30:03 ::that's good we're in again fucking sued 30:04 ::by quiet 30:05 ::Jarrod oh we're gonna come get us man to 30:08 ::chase after us we fucking killed still 30:10 ::laugh at our the way I know he sucks 30:12 ::Jarrod needs to be in a snuff film 30:14 ::yeah you do your ad campaign we're just 30:17 ::gonna need your skin to be worn by 30:18 ::another person yes you're a dreadful 30:20 ::beast of a man and I know Jared for a 30:22 ::fact huge diva he came to my University 30:25 ::gave a speech would you believe it he 30:27 ::demanded like a buffet of food now that 30:30 ::was somewhat none of it was some scary 30:31 ::story yet the scary story goodbye